Was that a decade?

December 23, 2009 at 3:13 PM (Just wanted to share)

At first I hated this, then halfway through I liked it a little more. Five views later and I completely love it. A good song easily changes my opinion about something. I still think it’s unfortunate that most of this video is male-dominated. Sadly, I don’t think it’s due to the creator’s preferences, but more from the reality that there are very few serious roles for women in the movie industry so there was next to nothing to choose from. I was about to exit the video, when the twinkling sounds of Phoenix’s 1901 kicked in, and that’s when more clips of women in romantic comedies started showing up.

It never really clicks that a year is ending. I had read several Top of the Decades lists before I realized “OHHHH it’s the end of a decade!” In my mind, it was going to turn 2009. A decade ago, I was eleven, which feels phenomenally young. I could enumerate the many lessons I’ve learned or my favorite memories or some other sort of list, but I have such a poor memory that it would be heavily weighted towards things that occurred to me in the past year.

I’m currently reading this book, which is fairly interesting. It turned out to be somewhat different from what I anticipated it to be about – there’s a lot more about the civil rights movement than I care to know – but she writes well enough, and I need something to pass the 56 minutes in between every 72 minutes of Battlestar Galactica I watch on megavideo. One quote:

There is, perhaps, one invention that historians a thousand years in the future will look back on and say, ‘That defined the twentieth century. That invention is the contraceptive pill.’

And somehow, that made me realize a tenth of the current century is over. And then I realized that it is highly likely that some of us will actually live to the end of this century. Age 112 doesn’t seem so impossible anymore. If that happens to me, it would be the worst thing that could happen – having an over-extended life. But I wonder what it would be like to reflect a hundred years from now and consider my present life.

I only ever read when I’m in Arcadia. I wonder if I will be able to find a similarly well-funded library whereever I next live. On all my lists of ways to improve myself, I always put reading on the list. But once I actually have the time to sit down and crack open a good book, a giant fountain of ideas springs up in my head that is super distracting. I can’t just sit and immerse myself into the book (except Harry Potter). I inevitably start thinking “I want to sew something with buttons” or “I should bake some kind of dessert” or “I want to go to there” or “I wish I were more like this character” or “I hope I can meet someone like that.” And then reading becomes an activity that is taking time away from more important things I should be pursuing. So about ten minutes in, what was initially a relaxing activity becomes this battle in my brain like “omg I can’t just sit here wasting my life reading a book … but I need to read more! But I could be doing this instead! AGH!” My life just feels so unspectacular compared to whatever accomplishments and adventures were worthy of being written about.  That’s a look into my brain, if you cared to know.

I have the strongest desire to buy a carton of Maeda-En green tea ice cream, but I am well aware that it would be my downfall this break. So I will continue eating my radish with honey 😦

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Favorites from ONTD

December 22, 2009 at 1:48 AM (Just wanted to share)

If it’s too slow, just click on them. I swear it’s worth it!

Lauren Conrad ❤

Found under a comment for a post saying that Lindsay Lohan was seen leaving Jason Segel’s (Marshall of HIMYM) house in the morning. I laughed so hard

I only wish Parks and Recreation were more popular so there would more GIFs floating around

So freaking cute. Makes me smile.

I was supposed to go running with Henry today. Instead we went to Jim’s. Besides the coke float and the chili cheese fries, I actually ate pretty healthy today. HAHA Frances C, Henry and I spent most of the time at Jim’s bemoaning the fact that we are much larger after four years of college. I wish I could remember the exercises from Core Blast. Damn my poor memory.

I wish I were in a more holiday spirit. What would I have to do to feel more holidayish?

Isn’t this the most random post ever? Maybe.

At the mall today:

henry: Look that guy is wearing sweatpants!
me: … So? *crinkles face*
henry: Sweatpants! Aren’t you like ooo sweatpants?
me: Oh.


– learn to drive freeway (avoid death)
– park better
– research roadtrip (what’s interesting in middle America? must find out)
– plan cpa study schedule
– learn how to cook delicious things
– eat less
– exercise (Jillian Michaels dvd is killing my butt; running plan has been a complete failure)
– go shopping for businesswear (which I don’t want to do until I lose weight)
– have fun (for my last winter break ever)

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The end of overeating

December 11, 2009 at 1:57 AM (Just wanted to share)

It is officially my last week of school. In seven days, I will be going on southwest.com and checking in for my flight back home. Although I wish I had friends to hang out with during study times, I’ve been enjoying time on my own. Plus, TMV is coming this weekend (Kristen says “they’re coming right before finals?! that sounds dangerous) so not too lonely.

I’ve been slowly ticking off classes to study for. I now have one class left – tax. Yesterday I spent 3.5 hours watching Battlestar Galactica at the library. I realized, with more panic than I have yet felt for any of my finals, that my library privileges will be up after this week and I will no longer be able to go to Moffit, request a dvd, and sit in a booth with giant headphones on until I can’t sit any longer. I wish I had had the time to watch The Sopranos, Six Feet Under, The Wire and old movies.

I also FINALLY got the book “The End of Overeating” from the library. I have wanted to read this since the summer, and every now and then I would check to see if a copy was available. The last book I read was Unaccountable: How the Accounting Profession Forfeited a Public Trust and that was back in July when I would read while commuting. Surprisingly an interesting read. Every now and then I need something to scare me back into a crazy diet/exercise mode. My motivation has been down – I blame the cold winter that keeps me from leaving this apartment, forcing me to make spaghetti for lunch and quesadillas for dinner. In previous years, I would watch The Biggest Loser and that would motivate me enough. But those episodes are one hour too long, so I stopped watching it. LEAVING ME WITH THE BODY I HAVE NOW.

When people post quotes from books/movies/songs, they usually seem all metaphorical and meaningful and I’m like “wow that’s pretty deep.” But I look at things from a very superficial level. I never notice the deeper meanings behind things – I think that’s the most stereotypical guy trait I have. I can see myself getting in a fight and I’ll be all “but you never said that! How was I supposed to know?!” That’s why I read tv recaps – otherwise I completely miss whatever the heck Mad Men is actually about. So, I don’t really recall ever connecting to a book/movie/song the way I imagine other people do. Maybe I’ll like a quote from a movie, but I don’t think I really thought it was a perfect statement of some emotion I had.

I fear that means a number of things about me: 1) I’m not sophisticated enough to be exposed to material I can connect to 2) I have a pretty meaningless life and that’s why nothing resonates with me 3) I don’t pay attention or understand things in general.

Reading “The End of Overeating” both frightens me and makes me feel normal. In the first few pages, I realized “I think EXACTLY like these people!” Then I wondered why the strongest connection I have ever felt towards a book was for this one.

I was going to post quotes but when I looked them over, they seem far too revealing.

Here’s one to remind me why I hate appetizers:

Countless new foods have been introduced in restaurants, and most of them hit the three points of the compass. Sugar, fat, and salt are either loaded onto a core ingredient (such as meat, vegetable, potato, or bread), layered on top of it, or both. Deep-fried tortilla chips are an example of loading – the fat is contained in the chip itself. When a potato is smothered in cheese, sour cream, and sauce, that’s layering.

I am glad to see that I don’t like any of the restaurants he mentions. Chili’s, Applebee’s, The Cheesecake Factory, Cinnabon. But for a few seconds while reading the Cinnabon chapter, I started getting the craving for something sweet, like a donut or cake. And then my mind went WTF NO! and I tried to apply the disgust I had felt for the Chili’s chapter to the Cinnabon chapter. I wish he hadn’t put such a giant picture of a carrot cake on the cover. If it had been buffalo wings, I’d been like neh. But CARROT CAKE mmm…

I’m only half done. It’s a very fast read and the chapters are super short. I don’t really think the book reveals anything I hadn’t known before, but I like to read these kinds of books, and after a while, how much more can you say about food and nutrition.

I don’t know what it is about carrot cake. I generally don’t love frosting. I hate when food looks artificial, like that unnecessary carrot decoration that seems to adorn every slice of carrot cake. I also don’t like carrots or how you can find slivers of them in each bite. But for some reason, every time I see it, I think and say “CARROT CAKE! I want it…”

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December 5, 2009 at 2:44 PM (Just wanted to share)

I’ve had very vivid dreams the past two nights.  They were REALLY FUN dreams and they were definitely influenced by whatever I was doing before I went to sleep. I don’t even remember what happened in them. I know that Thursday night, I was watching Taylor Swift on Oprah and I only know that my dream consisted of Taylor Swift and kids. Maybe I was married to Taylor Swift and she was playing with our children.

The interview is super cute. I can’t imagine myself ever interacting that well with children

I wonder if the kid’s inspiration for her hairstyle was Kate Gosselin. Professional in the front, party in the back.

Then yesterday I was up until 3am writing my paper about ONTD. The paper is fun to write and when I’m not distracted, I can punch out some pretty long paragraphs. But I keep wondering if this topic is remotely connected to what I should be writing about. In the paper, I used quotes from some comments, including the title of this post “DAMN YOU I LOVE VAGINA” and “no one cares about pussy on ONTD.” That’s kind of fun. I’m sure my professor would only appreciate more vulgarity. She has done cum shot faces in lecture. Multiple times.

So I was “researching” ONTD last night, and I somehow ended up dreaming that I was in a classroom about celebrity with a roomful of celebrities. By now, I’ve forgotten everyone who was in my dream. They were awesome though. I’m pretty sure Meryl Streep was in it.

I woke up wanting to eat a donut but now I want ice cream. But I guess … neither would make me feel very good. I should finish writing my paper. SO CLOSEEE then I would like to read four chapters of auditing straight through. *snort*

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December 1, 2009 at 1:17 AM (Just wanted to share)

Today was the first day in two weeks that I wanted to do work but when I didn’t, I actually felt like I was wasting time. The previous two weeks, I would just happily watch Gilmore Girls and not care that I had pushed work off yet again. This is my last week of college classes. I already know how it will end. Anti-climatically. Maybe I will eat out after my auditing discussion to celebrate.

I was supposed to look up research for my paper but I got distracted. List I found and have made minor changes to:

10 things you want for Christmas: (gosh this makes it easy for my secret santa. I’m hoping he/she doesn’t read this blog. I don’t want these for Christmas. I want these for life)

  1. a new cell phone that isn’t a Blackberry or an iPhone or a piece of crap
  2. negative 15 pounds
  3. a cool roommate in San Jose who will become my best friend
  4. an enviable music collection that rivals those of music producers
  5. a lasting relationship
  6. the ability to cook well
  7. the ability to drive well
  8. style
  9. more money than I know what to do with
  10. a timely death

9 musicians/bands you love:

  1. tiesto
  2. taylor swift
  3. bon iver
  4. blind pilot
  5. britney spears
  6. tegan & sara
  7. matt pond PA
  8. brand new
  9. kiersten holine

8 things you do everyday:

  1. use eyedrops
  2. brush teeth at least 4x
  3. wear socks
  4. eat breakfast
  5. listen to my ipod
  6. consider eating less than yesterday
  7. brush hair
  8. make sure I’ve left the house wearing pants

7 things you enjoy:

  1. hanging out with friends
  2. making people laugh
  3. realizing I’ve made a new friend
  4. marathoning tv shows
  5. grocery shopping with friends
  6. eating food people have cooked for me
  7. cleaning bathroom sinks

6 things that will always win your heart:

  1. tv shows with good music
  2. a nice smile
  3. taylor swift speaking
  4. this montage video of friends (the show)
  5. this montage video of friends (actual friends)
  6. people with good music

5 favourites:

  1. Movie: The Devil Wears Prada
  2. Song: Blind Pilot – 3 Rounds and a Sound
  3. Book TV show: Friday Night Lights
  4. Food: Lasagna (beef AND cheese!)
  5. Season: Fall (but winter in socal)

4 smells you enjoy:

  1. Coffee (although I don’t drink it)
  2. The smoky smell on 4th St. in Berkeley
  3. New textbooks
  4. Just washed hair

3 places you want to go:

  1. New York (in the winter when it’s snowing)
  2. Sundance Film Festival in Utah (to ski, sight celebrities and watch movies)
  3. Somewhere only we know

2 Favorite Holidays

  1. Valentine’s Day (as long as I can still find a single friend to spend it with)
  2. My birthday (yes, it’s a holiday)

1 person you’d marry on the spot:

  1. A name pops up in my head but hope I’d know better

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Lust for life

November 12, 2009 at 7:07 PM (Just wanted to share)

Listening to: Girls – Lust for Life

Click it. No really! You don’t even have to watch it.  I’ve been playing this song all day, it makes me smile. I just wish it were longer.

Also, a cute/creepy song: Ben Taylor – Wicked Way

Happy Birthday Frances! Last TMVer to be 21 – it feels like the first birthday was forever and a day ago. I bought you cakes to celebrate


Then I ate them.







The left is Caramelia (it sounds like I named my cake) – dark chocolate cake filled with vanilla Bavarian, poached pears, and caramel mousse.

The right is Passion Fruit Torte – light golden sponge cake filled with passion fruit curd and white chocolate mousse, white chocolate band. The white chocolate band was as soft as cheese and very rich.

I’m happy I decided to stop at Masse’s before buying a fruit tart from Andronico’s. Half the price, half the guilt! Twice the variety.

I first tasted Masse’s at Andria’s 22nd birthday when we surprised her at midnight. (Yes, my biggest regret in all my college years is failing to attend her legendary 21st birthday, THUGS FOR LIFE. Like, seriously, biggest regret, even after all this recruitment stress nonsense.) I forgot what cakes we sampled that day … BUT I found a picture of them on facebook! From what I can tell, we had the caramelia, tiramisu, mango mirror cake and a lemon meringue fruit tart. Five down, eight more to try!

I started writing this post, then stopped, then realized if I didn’t write this, I’d have nothing to do but my accounting project. So I decided to continue writing this.

This is what I wrote last Tuesday, November 3rd:

I have two hours before I have to leave for my interview. After this interview, I’m taking the caltrain down to SJ for another interview on Wednesday … and then it’s pretty much over. I’m bringing out the big guns aka my legs. I went to SF yesterday to buy dress shirts to match my favorite skirt. Can someone tell me a store that sells dress shirts to large chested but otherwise average sized women? I never realized until recently that buttons are NOT supposed to look like they’re straining to stay attached to the shirt. If I size up, there is all this extra fabric around my shoulders and back. Sizing down is not an option. So I just have a very uncomfortable looking upper middle section. As my mom would say “it feels like I’m being suffocated” (which refers to a time she told me “Mariah Carey has huge breasts. They scare me. I feel like I’m being suffocated whenever I see a picture of her.”)

Paulo helped me roll up my dress shirt sleeves in a neat fashion, so now I’m afraid to move my arms around too much. So helpful! Last time I had an interview, I was really rushed and was like “do you think I’ll have time to take a shower?! I don’t!” and they were like “you do!” and Paulo volunteered to help me blow dry my hair. HAHA It didn’t have to come to that, but it was a kind offer.

And then I left to go to my interview. Then I wrote this Friday, November 6th:

I’m graduating in December. If you know the implications of that sentence, you have probably had to suffer through my never-ending self-deprecating remarks implying that I was going to graduate unemployed and die unsuccessful. So to those of you who had to put up with Mel the Cynic for the past year I really heart you (in particular, Kristen, Li-Ting and Laura).

I just went swimmng – it’s the first time that I can ever remember where I didn’t think “ok … I’m swimming … time to think about what I would say in an interview.” Very relieving, yet my head is so empty. I need either a) drama in my life or b) a soapy show that creates drama for me to live vicariously through.

So yup! I got a job offer. Or more accurately, internship offer, meaning I work January – March, hopefully get a full-time offer (the Kristen D method), and spend the interim months following my initial plan of learning how to surf and squishing every youthful experience I ever wanted to have into five months before I begin the endless path of full-time employment (interrupted only by layoffs and death).

If you’ve ever wondered, this is what 16 years of academic work, extracurricular activities, and character building looks like:


I painted out my addresses – my mom didn’t raise no fool.

In the meantime, my motivation to do work has dropped precipitously. I’m now feeling sad about how relatively uneventful my senior year was compared to the other three – I expected this to happen but went on focusing on interviewing anyhow. This semester was not epic at all. But I guess it somewhat balances out my awesome junior year. I was looking through my facebook pictures … I can’t believe I did so many things just half a year ago. Last time I looked through them and I was like “wow … is that me? I can’t believe I did all these things.” My favorite photo album is 12hr food marathon 🙂

Life goes on. I’m interested in seeing what happens next.

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Prepare to laugh

November 10, 2009 at 11:42 PM (Just wanted to share)

The thing I love/hate about ONTD is that five minutes after checking the site, maybe, JUST MAYBE if you go back to it, five posts will have magically sprung up. It’s how I’m able to waste so much of my time on the site. If I just didn’t look at it for an entire day, I’d probably skip past 90% of the articles. But when I’m obsessively checking it every half hour, somehow, stupid shit like Zac Efron’s life and how fat Jonah Hill is suddenly escalates in importance (the idea that they would put Mariah Carey and Jonah Hill in the same article about being fat infuriates me to no end. Mariah Carey is not fat AT ALL. She just doesn’t have the best fashion sense. But Jonah Hill is at Kevin Federline levels of fatness).

One article caught my eye: New R-Pattz Vanity Fair outtakes. I thought, ok, I want to see these pics and maybe I can understand his appeal. Turns out, these pictures are HILARIOUS.  I burst out laughing at the fourth one. His arms say I’m so cold! but his face says I’ve got heartburn. Then I went back and looked at all the photos again and realized every single one of them is hilarious in their own way.

My personal favorite:


Someone completely photoshopped his right hand out.

I’m so hungry. I am hankering for a giant loaf of banana bread or zucchini bread … any sort of carby baked good with surprisingly high amounts of sugar. But every time I see a premade baked good, I think “wtf I could make this for a fraction of the cost.” The problem is, I don’t have any of the ingredients to bake, AND I don’t think I will be so eager to eat something when I am aware of exactly how unhealthy it is. Perhaps that’s why I still love fruit tarts. I have no concept of what the custard in tarts are made of, so I have no idea how unhealthy they are. Don’t tell me.

Today I went swimming and for the last half hour, every time I came up for air, I would hear this guy talking to the lifeguard. As in, EVERY time my ears were in audible range, the only thing I could hear was HIS voice. He was dominating the conversation … for THIRTY minutes. Good god, how did that girl take it? It got even more ridiculous when I switched to breaststroke, meaning I take a breath with every stroke. STILL that guy was talking every time my head came out of the water! I realized after fifteen minutes that I had no idea what the girl’s voice sounded like. Later I heard it – she was saying something … while the other guy continued to talk. HAHA I wonder how that conversation ended.

Free day tomorrow! Ideally I will magically finish all my group projects. Realistically, I will accomplish little.

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Who decided this?!

November 5, 2009 at 2:06 AM (Just wanted to share)

I read this article on ontd – it’s the one from Harper’s Bazaar that supposedly confirmed that Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson are going out. It shames me to know that I am even writing about this on my blog, like I’m some fanatic 16 year old girl or 40 year old woman. Anyway, my question is, who decided to run this article?! No one comes off in a good light at all. Not even the reporter. And I totally love Kristen Stewart but this article makes it so easy to hate on her. I had zero opinion on Robert Pattinson, but now it’s leaning more towards negative.

Also, I heart Yvonne Strahovski, but the trailer for The Canyon makes me cringe so much. It’s like when I watch trailers for Couples Retreat and When In Rome – I am wincing the whole time and thinking “oh god how is this going to damage Kristen Bell’s career?” These two actresses need new agents … seriously. So underutilized.

Ugh I have so many group projects. Group projects suck ass. What a waste of time. The only benefit  you get from group projects is a story that you can tell during interviews about how you dealt with conflict within a team.

I didn’t go home last night because I went to San Jose. I walked from Embarcadero to the Caltrain station. BIG MISTAKE. A mile in flats is not the same as a mile in sneakers. Caltrain is awesome though (except for the price). Runs so smoothly. Makes me feel like I’m travelling to Hogwarts instead of the south bay.

Anyway, I came home after about 24 hours of little internet access. Checked blogs (no real updates), checked ontd (as long as I could before I grew sick of reading about unimportant celebrity gossip, which is two full pages worth), checked tv news, checked real world news, checked facebook. All of that ended after an hour … and then I just felt like my life was so empty. Like, really? One day away from Berkeley … and nothing really changes at all in my life. If I were away for a week, I know it would be the same. What about a month – would anything change at all? I don’t think so – I have nothing going on in my life. My life is the same as it was two months ago, only I’m fatter now and feel sorrier about my life.

I still feel sick. Stupid donut, destroying my innards. I ate delicious food for lunch though. Asian Fusion at E&O. I came up with the brilliant idea of sharing small dishes instead of ordering individual large ones. I hope they remember that it was my idea. And realize that they need someone with more of such brilliant ideas in their company.

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Friday thoughts

October 30, 2009 at 3:19 PM (Just wanted to share)

I finally bought a Cal sweatshirt yesterday. I wanted a grey or a gold one, so of course I ended up buying a blue one. HAHA By the end of this year, I hope I will have bought a grey one, a gold one, and a white one.

Other things I want to buy. Ok, honestly, this list is just everything you could possibly buy at a mall, minus leggings, maxi dresses, and turtlenecks.

– Kristen Stewart jacket. HAHA Frances L brought one with her to my bday celebration and I said “OOO A kristen stewart jacket!” and she was like “what?” And when Laura first met her, she said “Oh! You’re wearing a kristen stewart jacket!” and Frances was like “is this what people call it?” No, just me.


A black one. And then a brown one! Like the one Rashida Jones wore in Parks and Recreation:


I’ve already lost interest in this list. I didn’t even get past the first clothing item.

I wish I had paid more attention to the clothes people wear on tv shows. I am the type of person who would think, “I guess I should rewatch everything I’ve ever watched and note the fashions I like.” It’s research.

Jon and Paulo are currently quizzing each other on state capitals. Now they’re moving onto countries. I’m the worst at geography. Typical American.

I talked to someone in my auditing class today and after two minutes she said “I can tell you don’t like very asian things” and I was like “YOU ARE EXACTLY RIGHT! HOW DID YOU KNOW?!” but then our gsi started talking again.

HAHAH Jon just reminded me of the time when he went down with me to socal and I was telling a story and Alvin said something like “she does this a lot huh?” and he said that all of my stories have the basic structure of “!!! OMG So I was blah blah blah and then blah blah blah! And then blah blah blah!!! But then I decided not to / it wasn’t / we didn’t.”

Example that just came up.

Me: I really want a fruit tart
Paulo: From where?
Me: Andronico’s! They’re so good. OMG Jon, remember we went that one time? The one on Telegraph! It was raining I think. Did we take the bus there? No we walked. But yeah! So we went to get fruit tart! But then I decided not to. So we walked home.

It’s only 3pm. I don’t want to do anything. Well, I do want to do something. I want to eat Yogurtland. We’re waiting for the volleyball game but that’s in four hours. These volleyball games are the highlight of my week. It’s a little sad.

HAHAHAAH omggg so Paulo and I both LOVE Taylor Swift so I saw this and immediately burst out laughing and yelled PAULO PAULO and he came running.

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No reason

October 25, 2009 at 12:29 PM (Just wanted to share)

Edit: I lied. New favorite song: Tiesto ft. CC Sheffield – Escape Me. I’m in the Haas library, attempting to study. The idea is that if I study at school, I won’t waste time at home. But shared itunes libraries distract me way more than things at home do. Every week I think it’ll be the most stressful but it seems to get worse the week after.

I just wanted to say, this is my new favorite song. Weezer ft. Lil Wayne – Can’t Stop Partying. Such a strange pair, but the strangeness of it is probably why it’s so awesome. I hear T-Pain is also doing a song with Miley Cyrus. Can’t wait! (I initially wrote T.I then thought “how is that possible when he is in jail?”)

Really need to study but I’m off to another volleyball game with Jon. I should buy some more Berkeley shirts. Considering I love sweatshirts so much, it’s a surprise that I don’t own a single Berkeley sweatshirt. I just need to go shopping in general. I need to buy everything, even new bras. I haven’t bought clothes in such a long time, and I’m really running out of jeans. Not even in a “this is no longer in fashion” way, but in a “I can wear this pair of jeans … or … nope that’s it. Just that one pair.” I hate wearing flats and flip flops, but skinny jeans + Converses look like clown feet, so when I wear skinny jeans, I always have to wear boots. This wasn’t so much a problem when I had enough flare jeans to wear with my Converses, but now many of them have been washed so many times, they have holes. I only have ONE pair of wearable flare jeans … which is why I wear my black boots so often now. Which is quite annoying when it’s a sunny day in Berkeley. It makes me feel like an LA girl wearing a denim skirt and Uggs on a 90 degree day

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