It’s been a while since my last post, which really didn’t involve any actual thought, so it seems like I should get back into this blogging thing. I know I used to say this all the time but now I think it’s truer than ever – is there ANYONE actually reading this?! Well, I still revisit my friends’ blogs every now and then and am always happy to find an unexpected posting – hopefully this will serve the same.
My life is truly … uninteresting to blog about, I think. I don’t know what I used to write about years ago that could fill up so many entries but nowadays there doesn’t seem to be anything really worth mentioning to others. Not to imply that I’m unhappy or anything, actually I think maybe life is more difficult to blog/talk about if you have little to complain about. Which is unfortunate, because then everyone hears the negative aspects of life, but it’s uninteresting to reminisce on why life is great and I’m sure it’s even more uninteresting to read about.
I’ve been at my new job now for less than three months which is really like two months after you discount the holidays/winter break. Sometimes I kick myself over not knowing enough but to put it in perspective, three months is not a long time to have learned much of anything. I just keep telling myself that it probably took me seven months before I actually understood how to audit, and before that I would go home everyday thinking “what the fuck happened today?” Generally I think the people overseeing me are happy – I’m just mainly worried about how I can carry through with some long-term projects my manager has dreamed up and I have no idea how to implement.
I can’t say I miss auditing or my old company – I don’t regret my time there at all, I still hang out with some of my old co-workers, and I think I really did leave at the right time. Sometimes I wish I had stayed on only to gain more technical experience, but there must be other ways of honing those skills than having to stay in audit and endure all the negatives that come with it.
The job isn’t the 9-5pm I had naively envisioned – but maybe it really shouldn’t be. I really wanted to be the kind of person who could bounce at 4:50pm, but that’s not the culture in my department. It sometimes bothers me, particularly when I don’t have the workload to stay as long as my co-workers. But I will so often hear about my friends working incredibly late, way past when I or anyone in my department would work, and I think in reality a 9-5 is not what actually happens for most professionals. (After reading Cooked last night, he points out that Americans have essentially added an entire month of labor to the annual work schedule and work two weeks more any other countries – a fall out partially attributed to Americans lobbying for higher pay compared to Europeans lobbying for better hours).
I get way more sleep than I ever did before (I didn’t actually think my body was capable of sleeping more than nine hours but it totally can!) but sometimes I still don’t want to leave my warm blankets in the morning. Yet on the weekends when I could actually lie around, all I want to do is start my day.
I kind of miss the weekends when I used to just go out and hike for the entire day by myself. That was back in my first year of living in the Bay Area. But now, especially with this job, it seems like a waste to spend a day alone. Back in audit, I think I would end up craving that quiet time alone, because it was almost like I’d be socializing throughout the week.
Sorry for the utterly boring post. I e-mail better I think.