Life Status as of 10/29/12

Listening to: Eitro – Character

– I sat outside of Philz to get my personal life together today. This turned out to purely consist of e-mailing a few friends for about two hours. For one of those two hours, the cafe was actually closed and I was just sitting outside of the cafe under a light alone.

– The most emotion I have felt for two weeks was watching the latest episode of The Good Wife and being upset at the latest Kalinda storyline. And by upset I mean I thought “are you fucking kidding me” and rolled my eyes when the episode ended.

– Someone new has moved into the house I live in. Supposedly she moved in three weeks ago but I have never once seen her and don’t remember her name. It started with an M and is two words. My mind keeps circling around “Mona Lisa” and “Mon Ique” but I am 100% certain that it is neither of those two options. Now that I think about it, I actually think it’s Mary Lou. We must have very different life schedules. I wonder how long it will take before I finally meet her.

– I keep playing the same three songs when I drive in my car because I haven’t found new music in a while. Two of these songs are on one cd (City of Dreams by Alesso and Don’t You Worry Child by Swedish House Mafia) and the third is on another (The XX – Chained) so I just keep switching between the two cds. I really need new songs.

– I drove to Palo Alto today mainly to fill up my gas tank. That’s like a 20 mile round trip to save $2.00 in gas. I don’t know how but surprisingly, a Valero in Palo Alto is the cheapest gas station along my usual routes ($4.04)

– I don’t really understand what I’m supposed to be doing at work and I am pretty certain I’ve wasted several hours the past few days because of this. Even worse is now that I am a senior, I have a suspicion that when I don’t know what I’m doing, it snowballs into the people below me not knowing what to do. I keep telling myself that everyone in audit always freaks out for no reason and everything always works out in the end. Which I wholeheartedly believe … except I’m sure in some cases things really do come crashing down.

– I watched the SF Giants win the World Championships yesterday. And learned what “a run” is. And what “the bottom of an inning” means. I am not a fan of cheering when the opposing team strikes out. It seems a little mean to take joy in someone’s failure. And it seems weird to cheer for an event of nothingness. Besides the fact that I was watching a sport I don’t care for and the team I don’t know much about won, it was pretty fun to be in a sports bar for such an “important” game. It was also fun to walk around Polk St. afterwards – I’m not sure if I’m glad or kind of disappointed that we left before the riot police came. I guess I should be glad. Walking away from a giant crowd on a Sunday night instead of towards made me feel like a responsible adult. A boring, responsible adult.

– I was seriously going to do more work when I got home but now I’m looking at footage / pictures of Hurricane Sandy devastation. That was from 10:30 to 11:30

One of the creepier photos: Grand Central

– Once  I finally set up my work laptop on my floor to do work, I ended up spending an hour recording my expenditures for the past month. And then creating this chart of my salary vs. total expenditures vs. total expenditures less outlier items. To me, outlier items include the following: Vitamix (June) airfare to SD (July), Amtrak and Car rental in Seattle (August), airfare to Hawaii and my birthday bounce house (September), and luau, Swedish House Mafia and Ellie Goulding concert tickets (October, although I contend that the concert tickets should be a deferred expense).

The good news is I make more than I spend. The bad news is, I pretty much spend whenever I want on whatever I want with no restrictions

One of my ranting book reviews

Listening to: Beirut – Scenic World

I am reading this book called The Voluntourist and it’s another one of those fucking infuriating books where some writer has a mid-life crisis and decides to go travel the world with a portion of it paid by a book advance. Wow. What a risk you’re taking. Putting your life on pause and … getting your publisher to fund your trip for you. *slow applause* I forget what the last book I half-read was before I got so sick of the author’s unawareness that I had to stop. That book annoyed me more because the author was clearly fairly well-off and I just could not care about her troubles (no it was not Eat Pray Love). This book annoys me for different reasons – as I’m reading about his life and how he reacts to things, I can’t help but judge him for coming off as sheltered, passive and just generally unaware of things.

One of the main recurring threads is that he’s trying to create a more meaningful life. The catalyst is his father’s death but the fuel is that his wife doesn’t want kids but he does. So he tries to find a purpose besides being a father. For one thing, I really do not understand how couples can get married and stay together when one person wants kids and one doesn’t. This isn’t really a compromise. One person is clearly not getting what they want and the other person probably feels guilty about it all the time. Or maybe the other person doesn’t feel guilty and wouldn’t that be indicative of something else altogether? I sort of keep reading to see what changes his mind – I am pretty sure he doesn’t get a kid in the end and I sort of hope he doesn’t, mainly because I hate how on tv shows the person who wants a kid always wins out.

But this guy just throws himself into all these volunteer opportunities like rebuilding homes for New Orleans and teaching kids in Costa Rica and China. Maybe he’s just being dramatic but he comes off like he just randomly signs up for this stuff and doesn’t research anything and doesn’t try to prepare himself by learning basic phrases or understanding the culture. Reading about his experience in Costa Rica was kind of like “uh … ok …” but being Asian and reading about his experience in China is like “OK WHAT THE FUCK.” I’m reading the chapter and I keep thinking “how the hell does he not know what this phrase is” or “why is he surprised by this” or “did he not even fucking know what nihao means?” Is it just written the way it is for the benefit of readers or is it really just him? It seems like going into these things he didn’t know Spanish or Chinese. And coming from a California high school I’m thinking “who the fuck doesn’t take Spanish in high school? Ok – probably people who already speak some Asian language. But that’s the only excuse.”

It also pisses me off that it seems like he just signs up for this stuff without ever discussing it with his wife. Each time he jets off to a new country I can’t help but imagine him stamping his foot like a child and going … “I want a child! And since I can’t have one I’m going to go off on my own!”

I am on page 155 though so something about his writing is redeeming enough to get me this far. But just barely. Usually about 10 pages after I take the time to write a blog post ranting about a book, something else will set me off and I’ll chuck the book onto the ground and think “what a fucking waste of my time.”

I always feel weird about writing posts that are super critical of books or restaurants because I feel like they might have google words or whatever it is that tracks when websites post certain phrases. Like, I would not be surprised if this author has a tracker on the title of his book to see what people are saying about it. I don’t like posting reviews on Amazon about books I don’t like because I always think it’s just my opinion and I don’t want the author to go online and read a negative review about a piece of work they had dedicated time to.

But I just keep reading this book and my thoughts keep circling back to my annoyances.

The thing that really set me off and started this whole post at 1am was this quote that actually had nothing to do with his mid-life crisis- inadequately-prepared-sojourn being funded by some publisher and the unfortunate buyers of this book:

Wang Xue speaks excellent English … she’s on summer break from a university in Xi’an where she’s studying to be a packaging engineer. I had no idea that packaging engineer was a profession

To which I thought, WHAT THE FUCK. “I had no idea that packaging engineer was a profession”?! Did this guy think boxes just MAGICALLY appeared and enclosed all the shit we purchase in the world?! Did fucking elves design that container, that bag, that carton?

I keep wondering where this guy grew up. The book cover says he lives in Burke, Virginia.

If I get to a chapter where he volunteers in India and didn’t bother to learn any Hindi, I’m going to fucking lose it.

Day 3 of Q3 ’12

Listening to: Alesso – City of Dreams and Swedish House Mafia – Don’t You Worry Child are like the only two songs I play in my car


– the CFO complimented me to my face

– my senior manager later told me that the CFO not only complimented me again after I had left but said my NAME. The CFO knows MY NAME!!! (this sounds sarcastic but this is actually a big win for me, as I used to be known as “the asian with glasses” and after last January “the girl on crutches” and subsequently “the girl who was on crutches that one time”)

– my senior manager then praised me in a separate instance

Ryan: Melissa, you’re doing very well as a  senior
Me: What? Me? No. I’m doing horribly
Ryan: No! You’re doing well
Me: Aw well thanks! What a nice thing to say!

*ten second pause where I return to work, then look up at the team*

Me: I just have a good team. Thanks guys!
Danny: Don’t listen to her. Everyone on this team is lazy and incompetent and I hate you all
Me: Well. At least I’m doing well.

– I actually had enough time to get groceries

– And then I actually had enough time to cook! Spaghetti! Well I didn’t make my own sauce but that’s never been one of my aspirations. I just cut up garlic, onions and mushrooms and threw it into a canned sauce and watched Vampire Diaries

isn’t this cute?

omg it’s going to be halloween soon. Then it’ll be Thanksgiving before I know it. Then Christmas. Then busy season. This is the time to get my personal life in order because it’s a slow slide down from here on out

Day 2 of Q3 ’12

Listening to: Eitro – Character

Hm. Things that have happened today:

– I locked my keys in the car and didn’t notice until 10pm when I was ready to leave work

– I did use that time to fill out my CPA application but who knows when I’ll ever have the time to get a passport picture of myself. What a bunch of crock – in this day and age I should be able to easily photoshop a 2×2 picture together

– AAA came and unlocked my door. I finally rolled out of the parking lot at 10:45pm. The horrible thing I was relieved to see that it was too late for me to go to the gym.

– My key wouldn’t unlock the top lock of the front door. Luckily my housemate had not yet fallen asleep

– For once I didn’t eat my standard dinner of ice cream + Ici’s ice cream cone

– I have to wake up tomorrow to watch a 5am webcast on updates to accounting standards. Yet another delightful facet to being a senior

– I decided to leave my laptop battery charger at work, thinking I wouldn’t be doing work tonight. I completely forgot I have this one-hour webcast tomorrow

– And my laptop battery only lasts about 45 minutes

– So I guess I’ll be waking up at 4:15am tomorrow to get to the client by 5am

Edit: Well about five minutes after I posted this, I thought “I don’t want to wake up at 4:15 … or rather I don’t think I can drag myself out of bed at 4:15” so I threw on a jacket, changed my shorts, and drove back to the client. I then scared the shit out of Danny when he ran into me in the parking lot, grabbed my power cord, and drove straight home (luckily greens all the way) in a span of 10 minutes

Danny: Oh my god you scared the shit out of me. I thought you were a ghost
Me: Well I guess if I wanted to choose a place to haunt after I died, this would be it

And then I got home and my late-night logic led me to believe “I can wake up later now, I can sleep later now, I’ll have an ice cream cone”

And that’s what I did. I can feel my muscles atrophying and my diet getting worse and worse each day.

Q3 ’12

Listening to: Sebastian Ingrosso & Tommy Trash – Reload / Save the World (Alesso remix)

So. It has reached that point again where I get home from work and have to choose between going to the gym or watching tv as part of my three hours of free time. It should technically be two hours if I want a decent night’s sleep but I always go for extra fun time.

I had the most difficult time getting out of bed today. I don’t like the client I’m on at all and the only saving grace for this engagement was my awesome team. A few of my favorite team members have left the firm since I started so now I have my awesome manager, who I have separation anxiety for. I know that during the audit and during interim fieldwork there are going to be days where I am going to be the highest ranking person in the audit room out of four people and that terrifies me.

This is the client where it took a five minute discussion before I decided to send a simple e-mail: “I think it would be more efficient for us to discuss this in person so I will drop by your cubicle tomorrow.” Of course right after I send it, Danny goes “I would recommend in the future that you not write “cubicle.” “Desk” might be a better choice and I was like ARE YOU JOKING?! and he was like “well … it’s going to be the difference between a bad mood and her usual mood so …”

Turns out my e-mail never sent because we packed up and left before the internet could send that simple e-mail. So now the client just thinks I ignored her e-mail.

Me: Danny, which is more important for me to finish? Clearing your analytics review notes or doing this Contingent Consideration Analysis?
Danny: …………………………. both
Me: Ok
Danny: You’re going to have to get used to that answer from now on

Danny: Melissa, what do you want to do? Do you want to pack up and go home and work from home? Or just stay here and continue working?
Me: Um …….. uh …………. well …………… wait what am I doing right now?
Renee: That doesn’t sound promising.

Tired now. Sleep soon.

This is probably one of those posts that people think of when they say to me “you sounded like  you HATED your job!” and I go “what are you talking about?! I never hated my job!” and they say “well you sounded really unhappy …” well I don’t hate my job. I just wish I could lie in bed and watch The Good Wife and Parenthood all day but we can’t all have our dreams come true


Listening to: this part of Alesso’s set at Beyond Wonderland HAHA

I’d write a detailed post including pictures of my 10 day vacation in Hawaii (Oahu and Maui). Realistically, I know that the process of simply choosing the pictures will take at least an hour of my time, and writing the blog will take anywhere from 2 to 3 hours. I flew out of Hawaii at 11pm and landed in SFO at 7am which is really 4am Hawaii time. I then went to SF, had brunch with Kristen and Laura, took a quick nap, and then went to Laura’s house. I then woke up at 4am this morning to drive to Lindsay’s house and do the Nike’s Women (Half) Marathon and have only had about a two hour total nap since then. I went to watch Perks of Being a Wallflower with Julia (decent movie although at several points I wanted to yell ‘this wasn’t in the book and this isn’t an improvement!’) and now it’s 10pm and I am dreading work tomorrow so …

All you will get is this one paragraph.

And this one picture of some beach off the North Shore of Oahu

Ideally I would have the time tomorrow to write this vacation post. Realistically, I will probably get home at midnight tomorrow, and possibly the next day and after that I’ll be so exhausted that for the rest of the week I’ll be trying to recuperate rather than blog. So … we’ll see when this post happens.

I relied on the fact that there would inevitably be twitter/tumblr pictures of the marathon that I could steal, so I wouldn’t have to bring my camera. So far this was the best. I remember when we came across this site, Lindsay said something along the lines of “I think the last hill is that one – the sea of brightly clothed women.” I seriously want to go out and buy some neon colored workout outfits now.

Hawaii: Day 1 – 7 Oahu

Listening to: Otto Knows vs. Sia vs. OneRepublic – Million Titanium Voices (I basically love ANYTHING remixed with Otto Knows’ Million Voices

I’m pretty effing tired right now. I’m sitting in a cafe (this must be the classic start for my e-mails and blog posts at this point) BUT IN HAWAII!

I’ve been in Oahu since … oh god I don’t even remember. Wednesday night. Delta messed up my connecting flight and I ended up getting to Hawaii about six hours later than I should have. This turned out to be a benefit because I don’t think I was mentally prepared to launch myself into a 10 day family trip just yet. So once I got my flight changed, I called Henry to pick me up at LAX (yay! unemployed friends in LA!) and take me to brunch on a Wednesday morning. HA Thanks Henry. We then got Sweet Rose Creamery (which I love going to in LA even though it is really not my favorite place because I always get WAY too much ice cream) and then he dropped me back off.

I could probably sit here and rehash my whole weekend but there’s only 13 minutes left on this shit laptop battery, since I wasted most of my time checking over facebook, twitter, gmail, workmail, and celebrity gossip. At least I no longer do ONTD. *pats self on back*

Basically I’ve been eating very well in Hawaii and I think I will have have hit all of the places I have wanted to hit. Let’s see … we did Leonards (famous m—). Ok I just decided I’m not going to sit here and list out all the restaurants and foods I’ve eaten because my brain is at like 20% productivity because it’s so warped from constant planning and activity, that I don’t remember how to spell most of the words.

Activity wise – I got a groupon for a catamaran and loved it. The boat was pretty cool (not as awesome as the boat we had gotten for work last year but still good) and the crew was hilarious and totally made the trip worthwhile. As was the experience of giving my mom a single mai tai and watch her become incredibly drunk, stumble about the boat (when docked), go up to everyone she saw and announce loudly, “I’M DRUNK! I GOT DRUNK!” before lying down at the Ala Moana beach park for a nap.

I have videos of such events occurring that I will be posting to facebook even though she told me “do not post those videos. If you embarass me you will embarass yourself.”

Our other nightly activity consists of my mom and I walking up and down the main drag of waikiki and hitting up every one of the five Hawaiian Cookie Companies to take free samples of their delicious pineapple shaped butter cookies. It’s to the point that today I said “let’s cross the street here” and she responded “no there is another cookie store on this side. We can cross after the second block and the third cookie store will be on the left.” Also when I ask her in the morning if she wants to get cookies she says, “No, it’s too early, they haven’t opened yet.”

I think generally I hate going on vacation with my family. There are occasionally good moments which make me think they aren’t that bad but it is much easier or more relaxing to travel with the right friend. I don’t mind going on vacation with my mom because she is very easygoing and we enjoy the same things. I don’t really mind going with my dad but it’s easier to just travel with my mom. I’ll leave my commentary about how much I enjoy traveling with my family there.

I did tell my mom that I plan to go to Iceland next with Caroline. She said “can I come?” and I immediately said “no.” She said “that is age discrimination.”

It’s grossly humid here at times which is the main reason why I would never live here. Also, now that I’ve spent so many days in Oahu, I never want to revisit again. Well I wouldn’t mind stopping here for a layover only to eat at Alan Wong’s. Other than that, I would only want to go to K’auai next time.

Luckily it hasn’t rained yet. Thanks to all the friends I will randomly text during the day to keep me from going insane. I also downloaded a ton of recorded sets from Alesso and Swedish House Mafia and Calvin Harris to keep me happy. The absolute best one is Alesso’s EDC set.

I also went scuba diving today. It was possibly the most terrifying thing I have ever done. It was also the first time I’ve ever felt seasick so I jumped into the ocean and just swam around the boat. I’ve never been in open, deep waters before – ok I guess I have when I went surfing in SD but I had a giant floating surfboard with me – and I now realize that if I had been living the movie Open Water, I would have died in an instant.

What else have we done? I’ve taken my parents to three botanical gardens which they love going to. My brother got to see Aulani, the Disneyland resort, which I think was the main thing he wanted to do. We hiked Diamond Head Trail which was nice but deceivingly very hot. I assumed it would be a nice, shaded walk, because there were SO many Asians heading up to the hike in normal clothing and I thought to myself, Asians don’t hike in those clothing unless they know it’s leisurely and not under direct sunlight. WRONG. It is super hot and rather dry. We also did Kuliouou, or attempted, because we only went halfway up and I said we should probably head back down before the sun set. My biggest failure of the vacation – not completing that hike! That was a moment when I was like, I wish I weren’t traveling with my family. Yesterday we did Makapuu Lighthouse Trail which was really nice. Today I had planned on using half the day to go sea kayaking then realized that my parents don’t swim AT ALL so now I have to figure out something else to do.

This is an incredibly tiring vacation for me because I wake up at like 6:30am Hawaii time and will go on a walk with my mom. Then I have to settle down on the plans for the day including restaurants, hikes, and general stops. Then we do those and I’m usually the navigator so I can’t even sleep in the car. Then we get back home and my mom and I will walk around Waikiki again for our cookie runs and then I’ll sleep at 12am Hawaii time which is really CA 3am time. And it never ends! Which is why I haven’t written a single postcard yet and my blog posts are so sparse. I guess it’s good that I didn’t blog much though, because the first few days might have revealed the darkest parts of my soul and would have gone something along the lines of “I FUCKING HATE MY FAMILY OMFG”

This is a non-vacation. I feel like I need to cleanse my vacation palate by going on another solitary trip to Seattle, but there is NO TIME! Q3 starts at my public company on Monday and that is after I do a half marathon with Lindsay on Sunday. Oh, life. I just want to sit down and watch Parenthood, The Good Wife, The Mindy Project, New Girl, Parks & Rec, and any Anna Kendrick interviews that have come about since Pitch Perfect was in wide release.

Last full day in Oahu – hm. Really don’t know what to do to be honest. I’m kind of bored of hiking but sea kayaking is no longer an option. I kind of want to just make my brother drive to a resort and have us sit around there. I’ve been going to a cafe called Island Vintage Coffee to feel at home in my cafe environment. Apparently I would rather walk 1.3 miles from where we are staying to get a cup of coffee, when there is a Starbucks literally around the block. I hate Starbucks that much.

Happy birthday!

Listening to: random youtube clips of Alesso’s set at Beyond Wonderland

On Saturday I yelled at Kathy “THIS IS THE BEST DAY EVERRRRRRRRR” and thought hm that seems like an extreme sentiment so I amended it with “NO THIS IS THE BEST BIRTHDAY EVERRRRRRR.” But to be honest, I might have been on the nose with the first thought.

All in all this weekend has been purrreettttyyyy awesome. Yay 24. I’m starting the birthday year off feeling fairly thin, having not put too much junk in my stomach, feeling pretty good about life!

Friday: Watched Pitch Perfect with Julia, Laura and Kathy. Kathy drove all the way down from her client in Emeryville to watch with me and bought me delicious cupcakes! Nice, quiet, low effort, low key birthday gathering.

Saturday: Went to the gym first thing in the morning and got a bunch of V2s in which felt awesome. Then went straight to a team brunch that I had planned and my manager said I am “good at getting people together!” which made me go AWWW THANKS! Food was delicious – Ryan brought some kind of bacon that was quite possibly the only bacon I have ever liked. It was the perfect amount of crisp. And also left a layer of oil on Kristen’s stovetop. Also made our standard waffles and eggs and Kristen reminded me that when we first started this brunch tradition a year ago, it was supposed to be a way for us to learn how to cook something new each time, and we’ve only ever made waffles. So next time it’s breakfast burritos!!! Yurmsss

Then did a Costco run which ended up being completely unnecessary for my birthday party as I didn’t really need most of the food! HAHA Ok THIS TIME I think I have learned my lesson and NEXT YEAR I will not have as much food. Hopefully.

Then hoofed it to Kathy’s. She, Julia and Amy had pitched in to buy a Beyond Wonderland ticket for me (Kathy’s idea, thank you!) which was awesome because it was totally the kind of thing I wanted to go to but probably wouldn’t have because of the price and because I didn’t want to feel like I was intruding on Kathy’s group – but when thrown into it I am like THIS IS THE MOST PERFECT GIFT EVER!!! I asked her friend Eileen if it was a rave and she said yeah and I said I don’t like the term rave because it makes me think of 8th grade boys playing around with glow sticks and breakdancing so I’d rather call it an EDM festival.

Below is a list of reasons why Beyond Wonderland was the best thing I’ve experienced:

1. I got to go with Kathy and I heart Kathy (ctrl+f the shit out of this blog post, my friend)

2. I got to go with Kathy’s friends and they are so awesome! I was sort of taken aback by how … open they were? to new people? Let’s be real here. TMV is not the most open and inviting group to new people. So to feel so comfortable around a group of people I didn’t really know, people who I have either only met once or zero times, was really surprising to me. Thanks Kathy’s friends who will not read this blog!

3. Another thing about Kathy’s friends: they are the type of group that I would have never seen myself hanging out with before but it is hilariously awesome. We all met at Kathy’s house and I always thought whatever they were wearing when they showed up was their concert outfit because I thought they looked pretty good already. BUT NO. That was probably their Saturday lounging around outfit! It would actually take another two hours for them to finalize their pre-planned concert outfits and makeup! Yes, they are the type of group that coordinates outfits. These are the texts I got from Kathy verbatim (Saturday was FULL of awesome texts, and if I may say so myself, several of them may have been from me, and several of them, thank god, failed to send because the network was so overloaded)

Kathy: We are doing a black and white with a super bright colored bra
Me: Wait is that your outfit? Am I coordinating? I only have a black and white sports bra! (I don’t know why I thought they were wearing sports bras for some reason I thought they were going 90s themed)
Kathy: Hot pink bra, black lace see through button up shirt, and a black and white plaid skirt combat boots and a bow on my head 🙂 (shirt was a bit overstated … it was NOT what a normal person would consider a shirt)
*She then sends me a picture and unfortunately I don’t have a smartphone so I don’t know how to get the picture onto my computer but I’m pretty sure I opened it, and did a ……………………………. at my cell phone*
Me: Im not even sure what im looking at

So then I found an okish dress which went okish with boots and wore that. I am pretty sure it is the shortest dress I own.

I get to Kathy’s and I’m the first one there and she says my outfit is cute so I’m like … ok! approved! and begin my typical sitting around routine while friends put on makeup. She yells from downstairs “OK I REALLY NEED TO GET READY SO JUST GIVE ME FORTY MINUTES” and I go “FORTY MINUTES WTF?!?!” and then lie outside her bathroom on the hallway carpet as she gets ready.

Then her friend Kat and Kat’s bf arrive and they are fun and nice. Kat is one of the people who walked into the house and I thought “oh ok, her outfit isn’t that outrageous I guess I’ll just be at the lower end of the outrageous level.” But then she was like “ok I’m going to change!” and pulls out like a handful of skirts and bras and I’m thinking oh. That was her regular day outfit.

Then I think …. Doris comes … and I think then Eileen? At this point I’m thinking “omg …. they really are coordinating. They are all coordinating into bras and a skirt and somehow even though I am in the shortest dress I own I AM VERY OVERDRESSED FOR THIS EVENT.” Kat offers me a skirt and I was like oh … we’ll see … maybe … and I’m starting to consider it because it seems practically nun-nish for me to not be showing my midriff. It was all starting to remind me of prom, all the girls rushing about doing makeup and touching up their outfits and the general excitement of it all. I told Kathy “it feels like prom again but is this just another Saturday for you?”

I think Monica was the last to arrive of the girls? Last to arrive was Joe, Eileen’s bf. At this point, I have taken one of Kat’s skirts and have decided to also try on this idea of going out in public wearing a bra, a short skirt, and a lace top. Which, if I may add, is not the typical attire I wear.

Kathy does more eye liner for me, attempts to give me fake lashes but that somehow fails and I felt like I had gotten some sort of disease and had pus coming out of my eyes (it was the residual glue on my lashes) so that wasn’t terribly pleasant. Someone loaned me a bright pink bra but I ended up just going back to my regular black one because it just seemed SO PINK. I mean, baby steps here. I then got body glittered, and got some sticker rhinestones affixed to my arm which were all gone by the end of the night (I said to Kathy “OMG SOMEONE STOLE MY STICKERS!”) and I didn’t have combat boots so I just wore my keds. That was my main deviation from Kathy’s friends but I am SO GLAD I wore my keds because my feet felt totally fine after the night!

Part of me is just amazed that these girls had brought enough clothes to not only help dress a stranger but my outfit was somehow in coordination with everyone. Another part of me is like, wow everyone is so generous and nice and helpful! And another weird middle-school part of me is like, OMG it is surprisingly fun to coordinate outfits, especially when they are kind of skanky! LOL and I mean that in the nicest way. There is some weird primitive sense of belonging and power that comes out of mutually strutting outside wearing clothes that really should require more layers.

Of course when we are outside getting ready to coordinate rides, Kathy’s neighbor’s garage opens and their family minivan rolls out and Kathy goes “omg … my neighbors………” and I can only wish there were a video camera there that filmed us awkwardly pretending like it was completely normal for us to be standing in a driveway of a rich gated community wearing what we were wearing.

4. The food, or lack thereof. So I stupidly didn’t bring food with me to Kathy’s so I was super hungry when we got to the Coliseum but I guess getting in the huge ass entrance line and then the even worse will call line made me forget my appetite and by the time it was 11pm, I no longer felt the need to eat and actually haven’t really wanted to eat until today, a full day later. I think this concert going activity could be my new diet plan. It’s been the reason I have started off my 24th year feeling so thin!

5. LIGHTS! Ok I don’t know why but I didn’t realize there’d be a lights setup coordinated with the music! For some reason it didn’t dawn on me that this event would take place in the parking lot, not actually inside the Coliseum. No shit, Sherlock. Now I kind of really want to go to EDC because I bet their light set up is like 100x better and I already really enjoyed this one

This is what the Beyond Wonderland FB site says it looks like but I couldn’t see the two tents at that angle … but the ferris wheel was pretty bomb diggity

6. Music WAS AMAZING! Have I ever been to a music festival? No I don’t think so. I do like my indie but I do LOVE my dance music and I love that I actually know enough of the lyrics of these songs (since they barely have any lyrics) that I can sing really loudly to it, in a way that I never really do with other songs when we are at karaoke or at a bar. I kind of like how the same song could be played like 4 or 5 times in a night either because different DJs use the same song or they just come up sporadically during a single set. I don’t know why I have never gone to an EDM festival before now!!! it is the combination of so many things I like: a ton of artists I like all in a single place, outdoor nighttime event, fun lights spectacle, big energetic commotion …

7. The moments where everyone knows to sing: like the DADADA of Calling, the WOOT WOOT that I have no idea who starts and how everyone knows when to do it, the quieter I still miss youuuuuu of City of Dreams and the FIRE AWAYYYY FIRE AWAYYYY of Titanium … all of those! It’s like karaoke except I actually know the lyrics and really really really love the songs

8. Moments during the night like when I said “I feel simultaneously hot and cold, slutty and overdressed.” One, it was definitely cold when we stepped out of the car but being around so many people or maybe other factors made me not notice the cold at all by the time it was like 8pm. Seeing as how it was 2am when we left, pretty sure it wasn’t because Oakland got mysteriously warm during the night. Two, before I had switched to Kathy’s group’s outfit I kept going “I feel REALLY overdressed” and Kathy was like “when we get there I am going to feel overdressed” and I was like WHAT?! BUT IT WAS TOTALLY TRUE. I KIND OF FELT somewhat conservative. Like, I COULD have just gone out in JUST a bra. I COULD have just gone out in with just boob stickers on. BUT no! We wore a see through black lace top over our bras and for that we were QUITE conservative!

Other quotes I think I said included “Do you think they’ll let me have a balloon?” when the event closed and Kathy just laughed at me and said no and I said “WHY NOT Nancy lets me have them after a recruiting event …” and when a guy offered to give me a massage and I said “no … ” and he said “no it’ll feel really good” so I said “um … ok then” and he had his hands around my neck for about three seconds before I got ticklish and squirmed out of his grip and went “I’m sorry! I don’t want this anymore, I’m getting the tickles THANKS THOUGH you are so nice!” and I patted him on the shoulder to send him on his way. Also when we were walking around the tents and I went “OMG THIS IS SO CRAZY! HOW DO THINGS LIKE THIS EXIST?! THESE THINGS SHOULDN’T BE ALLOWED WE ARE ALL CLEARLY DOING ILLEGAL ACTIVITIES.” Also when the event ended and the lights came on and we were standing in the middle of the tent area and I was just surveying the floor going “OMG I just REALLY want to clean. Like, where can I find a broom?”

10. All I can say is, I don’t see the appeal in alcohol at ALL anymore. There are better things in the world

That being said, I also LOVE Lindsay’s sangria and lemoncello that she had made for me for my party. I think she said she used peach schnapps and Franzia wines and it was DELISH. Giant huge pieces of yellow peach, oranges, and strawberries. LOVE LINDSAY

Joe drove us back to Kathy’s and was very good at cutting the line out of the parking lot so it didn’t take long at all to get back. We danced around her living room and then it was 5am and I thought it seemed like an appropriate time to sleep and found a very comfortable spot on her living room floor with a very warm Costco throw that I want and a very nice sofa cushion pillow. Woke up, some of us went to Sideboard and I got a really weird yogurt and granola … and then drove home and was very thankful I made it home in one piece

Sunday: And pulled into my driveway right when the bouncehouse guy was there! Luckily I hadn’t made him wait long. He was fun to talk to. Around this time it was like 1 – I cleaned a little, showered because I smelled so gross, then Laura came and started setting up all the food she had brought (YUMS thanks!!!) Lindsay and Adam were next with their freaking awesome sangria THAT OMG I DIDN’T TAKE A PIC OF SADNESS. I think then Tara with her homemade lasagna (at a happy hour she had asked what I wanted and that she could make lasagna and I went “OMG I LOVEEEE LASAGANA!” and she said “ok can I make like a baked ziti?” and I said “NO! I LIKE LASAGNA!” and she claims it’s the same thing to which I responded “well then why are they named two different things! Make the lasagna please!” HAHA So glad she likes me). Anna and Ken with their roasted duck and chow mein. Julia with ice and beer. Lexi and Ben with their cheese and grapes. Lillian with her delicious guac and homemade chips. Eunice and Dave with a bday cake from Paris Baguette ❤ Eugene with a bagful of toys (at the end of the party I said “you better take these. I don’t like these kind of things in my house – it reminds me of children and I don’t like it.”) and the makings for a red wine sangria that we never had the opportunity to have. Neha and her hubby with wine. Kathy with watermelons. Lily with a giant bottle of sake that I don’t know what to do with. Andria and Ray with chips and drinks. LOVE IT!

Eugene shouted “here here!” This is right before I whacked him in the leg. Kathy caught it all on an amazing video

We basically intermixed drinking, eating, bounce house, bounce house relays, standing around my backyard, pinata, cake, so much food. AHH I LOVE IT!

Monday: I woke up at 5:30, threw on a dress, threw some clothes into a duffel, and hopped into a cab to go to the airport to take a flight to Irvine for a training. Long story short, I went all the way down to Socal to attend a training because I’m missing the ones offered in our office since I’ll be on vacation. I think between Saturday and Sunday night, I had a total of five hours of sleep. I generally do decently without much sleep but if I touched my head at a certain angle it would kind of throb. I’m glad I made it home ok

Tuesday: Chinese bfast with Eric, then picked up some library books to take on vacation, then made the drive up to the Bay Area (I had gotten a rental car). Now I am exhausted, but for some reason thought it was crucial that I blog … so here it is …