Things said at work #2

Listening to: Sneaky Sound System – 16

Things said at work the past two days:

Me: Well … did you go ask the client for this?
Associate: Yeah ………. but he hasn’t responded. I don’t think he does what I ask because I don’t know what I’m doing …
Me: WELL don’t let HIM know that!
Associate: … I think he knows.

Me: Are you ok?
Associate: Yeah, I’m just really tired … but it’s ok it’s almost five …
Me: That doesn’t mean anything.

Senior: What time are you coming in on Saturday? Like 8:30?
Me: …………. uh … sure
Senior: Ok, well when you come in, you can get started on this module—
Me: You know what, no I’ll probably come in at 9:30
Senior: Ok —
Me: No. You know what. I’ll get here when I get here. I’ll probably watch tv in the morning. In any case, I’ll still get here before you. You always come in at 10.
Senior: Yeah well … I mean I always attempt to get here at 8:30
Me: Well, the gap in your “attempt” and your “success” is pretty wide.

Julie: So you seemed kind of …………
Me: Pissed off?
Julie: Well, yeah, no, is that an understatement?
Me: LOL can pissed off be an understatement?

*two weeks ago*
Me: Is it just going to be me and you in this little room next week? Staring awkwardly at each other since Julie’s not coming too?
Senior: ……….
Me: OH MY GOD! We should just go to cafe and work! It’ll be so cute and fun!
Senior: No.
Me: You’re horrible.

This led to the past two week of me randomly going “OMG we should go to a CAFE!” or whining “he won’t let us go to a cafe”

*This Friday*

Julie: Let’s go to a CAFE!
Me: SEE! EVEN JULIE WANTS TO GO! One more person on my side!
Senior: No. We’re not going to a FUCKING cafe! This isn’t an episode of Friends YOU are not Rachel and Julie is not Phoebe. This is REAL LIFE. And in real life we’re going to sit in this sauna of a room and we’re not having ANY FUN.

Senior: Melissa, so after you finish clearing review notes for intangibles, you can help the associate close out any open items on her module. Julie ……. *launches into a three minute game plan for the weekend* … So how does that sound?
*Silence from both me and Julie for about ten seconds where I just stare at my computer*
Me: You know what Danny. You keep saying “just help her close out the open items on this module.” When I hear the words “close out,” I expect a workpaper to be close to completion. But all these workpapers aren’t even done. I don’t think I would even consider them “started.” I don’t have anything to “close out” because there are NO analytics.

This becomes about a ten minute conversation about our associate and the status of the audit

Me: Ok fine, see this makes much more sense to me now. Because before when you told me to just help close something out, I’d open the workpaper and think “What the fuck, Danny is fucking sugarcoating this”
Senior (clearly his name is Danny): I know I know but I couldn’t just SAY in front of her, nothing is done so you have to do it
Me: I don’t WANT you to say that in front of her. But it would be nice for you to tell me off to the side so I don’t look at something and think “what the fuck is this shit”

Senior: So what I’m planning to do is for you and Julie to just take on the non critical areas and Melissa … I don’t know how you want to do it but if you can have the associate just like, sit next to you … and just watch what you’re doing so she can get an understanding of what to do … I’m sorry I know that’s really inconvenient
Me: No I don’t mind. In fact, I like training people and making them learn MY way of auditing
Senior: Great. By the end of the audit you can turn her into an unruly and vulgar associate like yourself
Me: EXCUSE ME?! ……. Yeah. That’s true.

Partner *gives us all a five minute long to do list for the weekend*
Partner: So … it should be a pretty exciting weekend
Senior: ……………………………… is it? Uh …….. what’s happening?
Partner: US Figure Skating Championships is at HP Pavilion this weekend!

Manager: What do you guys want me to pick up for lunch? In N Out?
Me: Uh, absolutely not
Manager: Wow, that was a very strong reaction
Me: I’m not coming into work on a Saturday just to eat some $2 burger for lunch

Suze Orman on when to buy a house vs. rent

I think my best indicator for not buying a house is that from this video, I:

1) Do not know how much property taxes is
2) Did not realize I’d have to pay for property insurance

I went to eat at a place called Crawdaddy after work on Friday with college friends / ex-roommates. It was like a Boiling Crab (we had initially planned to go to Boiling Crab but it was a 2 hr wait). I don’t like any shellfish except for oysters so I just got a dozen raw oysters. I realized after my second oyster that I have only ever eaten raw oysters in SF and in New Orleans … and it had not dawned on me that the caliber of oysters in South San Jose might not be up to par. So depressing. It felt like if I had only ever eaten fried chicken in the south, and then one day went into a KFC expecting the same and then came out thinking WTF WAS THAT. Sad! But it also makes me want to go up for SF Oyster Happy Hours ANDDDDD Oyster farms!!! so I can take advantage of what is here in Nor Cal before I leave.

Then Saturday I went out with my coworker Julia to a restaurant called Sumiya which is like a yakitori. So yum. Potato mochi – amazing! Been craving it for a long time. So I dropped another $35 on a single meal … I think during busy season I spend somewhat less money because I don’t go out as often, but when I do go out, I spend like crazy because I’m like OMG I’M OUT!

WAH It’s already 1am! I had planned on waking up early to gym before going to work. Not sure if that will happen now.


I had an extra five hours of my life today

Listening to: Late Night Alumni – What If I Say Please ( I think this band’s name is the most “in line with the type of music they make” of all. All of their songs are meant to be played … late at night.)

I got off of work around 6pm which is pretty crazy. I left work yesterday around 8 or so and tomorrow we are supposedly leaving at a reasonable Friday hour as well. I believe my manager went to the partner and said that if he didn’t tell us all to start going home earlier, our team would probably mutiny. Today the associate brought in our Red Robin take out orders and we decided to take our burgers to the cafeteria to eat, and right when we left the audit room, the partner came out of the room he was in and for about five seconds we all just stood and stared at him and he stared at us with a shocked expression and no one said anything. I honestly believe that the thought running through his mind was “oh my god it’s true – they are all taking their lunches and never coming back.”

I got incredibly pissed yesterday at work. After I left the audit room to climb the stairs up and down about fifteen times to work out my anger, I went back and the person who had pissed me off asked if I was ok, and I very quickly said no. I want to start erasing this habit of immediately trying to deny the existence of some conflict, and just look straight at the person and say “yes. I am actually pretty fucking pissed off but if we talk about it right now, it may not be the most constructive conversation.”

I kind of would rather prefer working non-stop for several days at horrible hours just to get stuff done, rather than have a few “normal” hour days here and there. Because we never know when those “normal” days will be so it’s not like I can plan anything in advance. Instead I just get told to go home and I feel very lost and it makes me dislike my job because my next thought is “well if I actually had more of a life throughout the year, I could have fun plans in an instant.”

I went home and my greatest accomplishment was vacuuming my room. It somehow took an entire hour to vacuum this little room. I even vacuumed the plastic wrap that I keep over my armchair. I went to the gym and finally rock climbed for the first time in three months. I completed three but I am really sad at how hard it is for me / how overly cautious I am about my ankle. Ugh.

God it’s already 1am again. I wish there were new episodes of things for me to watch.

❤ this music video. I hope I keep finding songs like this so I can start swinging back into indie / folk songs

Quote from work

My senior: Basically my girlfriend gave me an ultimatum last night
Me: OH MY GOD! What did you do?!
My senior: I told her ‘I know where you’re getting all of these ridiculous ideas from. I know your group of friends and I know who it is. Well you know what – Claudia’s not getting married any time soon so I don’t know why you’re listening to her at all’
Julie: I can tell you right now, that tone was not the right move
My senior: Yeah. I realized later that what started out as a simple conversation was quickly unraveling.

I can either sleep, watch The Good Wife, catch up on Pretty Little Liars, write emails or … a ton of other things. Tomorrow morning I can either gym, watch The Good Wife, watch Pretty Little Liars, or go to work early.

Today I worked from 7:30 to 11:30. My longest day yet. Still, didn’t feel that bad. HAHA I just wish I had remembered to bring jeans to change into.

There are Spotify playlists made by something called Digster and based on how much I like certain playlists, apparently my tastes are Indie Chill, Rise & Shine Indie, Look at my Newer House! and 60s Soul

Listening to: Mikael Weemets ft. Max C & Audible – Let It Go (Jerry Rekonius remix)

I think what’s keeping me happy during busy season is: my awesome and hilarious team and Tiesto Club Life podcasts. OMG our team gets snack money now too! Exciting.


I didn’t feel like making an entirely new post. So I will just amend yesterday’s.

I remember now a quote that I wanted to post from Sunday night, when I drove up to SF after work to hang out with Kristen

K: I wanted a corporate hippie and he wanted a hippie corporate
Me: Oh. I … just want corporate

K: Where would you live if not Seattle?
Me: I don’t know. Palo Alto
K: ………….. oh my god. You’re so … cookie cutter. Palo Alto is so boring!
Me: So what. Maybe I want to be cookie cutter. I just want to live in a nice white neighborhood where there’s a Crate and Barrel nearby.

Kristen asked where my next secret adventure is going to be. I have no idea! I don’t even have time to think about when I am going to do my laundry.

My coach told me today that at mid-year roundtables, the possibility of early promoting me to senior had come up. I am going to ask her who exactly brought this up when we have our real coaching meeting. Thankfully my coach shot down that idea, saying “do you WANT her to quit?” At the same time, I’m about 10% sad that it wouldn’t happen, because I have been looking for super legitimate reasons to ask for a leave of absence in the fall. I am pretty confident that I could still get one, but I feel like I’d prefer saying to the lead partner “I need a break from being a senior for x months and if I don’t get one I just might quit” as opposed to “I want to travel while this company still pays for my health insurance please.”

Listening to: The Black Keys – Everlasting Light and Lissie – Bully

It’s snowing in Seattle and raining in Santa Clara…

Snow + Seattle + From a distance = want

Well. I haven’t the faintest idea what I would do if it did snow. I should prepare myself for that before I move up.

My favorite Etta James song: I’d Rather Go Blind

I have no more food to eat because I thought my mom would be visiting me last weekend and she could cook up a storm for me. The previous week I started eating salami sandwiches every day. This week I’ve somehow sustained myself on fruit and pita chips. It’s no wonder I’ve suddenly broken out in canker sores.

I haven’t gone to the gym in forever. One of my coworkers was really excited to announce that she finally hit four miles for her run. Suddenly my body felt more jello-y. I haven’t gone running in MONTHS now. I haven’t gone swimming in over a year and a half. I haven’t even gone to the gym for over two weeks. Sigh. Fat body.

Ok. When did this song become so famous? I heard it on a Tiesto podcast and suddenly I see it popping up EVERYWHERE, but different versions of it.

This was in an interview with Dianna Agron:

What are the 5 songs you’re loving right now?
“I put my iPod on shuffle. It picked:
1. Mark Ronson & The Business Intl., ‘Someone to Love Me’
2. Alexander, ‘Let’s Win’
3. Easybeats, ‘Friday On My Mind’
4. Theophilus London (ft. Sara Quin), ‘Why Even Try’
5. Panda Bear, ‘Tomboy'”

I only know one of the songs and I don’t even KNOW three of the bands on this list!!! I need to update my indie music knowledge. I keep thinking I need to diversify from the past two years of dance music, but whenever I try to look for new music I think it’s not dance-y enough. Seattle ruined me. It was where my high school love for dance music was revived. I vaguely reading some musician’s interview about two years ago and he was saying that indie music was beginning to have more of a dance-beat vibe. I agreed at the time but now it’s so much more obvious, just looking at the Coachella lineup. I find it very weird to have been alive and cognizant of a shift in music trends, as opposed to when I was younger and thought what I liked was just what I liked.

Ok. I was ready sleep at 10pm. Now it’s 11pm. I have to go to work tomorrow. Oddly, I think I’m enjoying work more right now than other times in the year when I would leave work at 6 or 7. I leave work at midnight and I feel ok about it. In fact, every day so far for busy season has been a pretty good day. I have really good laughs several times a day, I like all my teammates, I bring a change of clothes so after six pm I can audit in jeans and a sweatshirt for a good six hours, I don’t spend any money because I’m in an audit room all day… I kind of want to not check my bank account until my client files, and then I’ll look and can  be like “HOT DAMN! SHOPPING SPREE TIME!”

Tired but deluded into content

This makes me realllllyyy like Jessie J … except I don’t particularly love her songs unless they’re remixed. But the video is pretty impressive to me

It’s only 12:30 but I’m incredibly exhausted. And it’s only Tuesday. My real busy season started last Wednesday. We kicked it off by leaving around 11pm. I worked Saturday and Sunday, I think from 9-6. The bright side is that my client is super close to my house, so I don’t ever set an alarm clock, because I know that I always wake up at least by 8:30am. The other bright side is that I really enjoy my team so I’m experiencing one of those “if you love what you do, you’ll never work a day in your life.” I kind of feel like I’m just hanging around with friends … although I wish hanging around didn’t deplete me of all my energy and take up over 75% of my day.

The senior decided to instate a new rule today that makes me love the team even more. Basically a few days ago, one of my coworkers cracked and finally installed Spotify, which I have been telling everyone to do. I think within a few minutes she was hooked. So now we spend a few seconds of our day sending songs to each other. As one would expect, it’s devolved into our sending awesome 90s pop songs to one another throughout the day. Which is why the new rule is, that at any point in time, if we point at someone, they have to take off their earbuds and everyone will listen to what they are listening to. Mutual embarrassment = team bonding.

It is really cold. Back to having five layers of blankets on me.

I just want to eat brunch one day. Go back to the days when I could have oyster happy hours after work. Be able to entertain the idea of reading.

Things to do when I no longer work weekends

Listening to: Jes ft. Ronski – Can’t Stop (Bobina remix)

1. Brunch in SF with Kristen (her quarters are awaiting!)

2. Take the Amtrak Starlight up to Seattle and fly back down

3. Hike in the Bay Area

4. Travel somewhere so I can send a postcard to Kim

5. Visit Connie in Davis

6. Unwrap the plastic from my chair and read in it

7. Surf in Santa Cruz

8. Buy an LP player. Sit in my chair and listen to my LPs.

9. Visit Frances L in San Diego


to be continued…

Things I have said today at work #1

Listening to: Red Hot Chili Peppers – Otherside (Third Party remix)

Me: Sometimes I wonder if I were to die during busy season, how soon after everyone goes “oh my god, how horrible” does someone say “… ok now what are we going to do?”
Senior 1: You mean like, if anyone would ever say that?
Me: No. I know it’ll happen. It’s just a question of whether it would be that same day. Or that same hour. Or that same conversation.

Me in an email: I woke up at 8am and stayed in bed until 8:15. I brushed my teeth and everything and then I went to my closet and didn’t know what to wear. I wanted to wear pants because I was too tired to put lotion on my legs, but then I know I can’t handle walking to the office in heels. So I lied around my bed. Then I finally decided to put on a dress. I was so tired I got kind of tangled up in it. Well now it’s on me and I’ve missed celebrity scoop. I have no reason to live.
Senior 2: I don’t know why every email you send me gets more depressing than the last one.

Fellow associate: My life is pretty sad
Me: I don’t think so. I think it’s pretty hilarious. Then again, I always think I’m being hilarious and then someone will tell me that I’m being really depressing.

Me: Wait … are we working Sundays?
Senior 3: … Yeah
Me: Oh.
Senior 3: Why?
Me: I just wanted to know so I can plan…
Senior 3: Well this Sunday I’m thinking we’ll leave at dinner time
Me: DINNER TIME?! But this Sunday is the Golden Globes!
Senior 3: When does that start?
Me: uh … well red carpet starts around 3 so…

Fellow associate: Melissa, I really like your dress today!
Me: Thanks! My brain couldn’t function and I couldn’t manage coordinating an outfit. So I wore a dress.

Senior 2 (sarcastic): Wow you should just be promoted to senior. Or partner.
Me: Um, no. I’d like to get DEmoted to intern
Fellow associate: At least you’d get hourly pay

Senior 3: Melissa, you can go walk to the parking lot with Julia
Me: What?! I’m not ready yet
Senior 3: Ok, then Julie you can walk with Julia and Melissa, you can walk with me when I go home
Me: WHOA WHAT. No. I’m going with Julia.

Associate: I’ve been on six inventory observations, 3 of which were for Columbo. It was disgusting
Me: Why was it disgusting?
Associate: They basically hang all the meat from hooks and I had to walk through them. And they are hung really closely together. So I was just surrounded by all this sausage
Me: Next time someone asks you about what auditing is like, can you just repeat those words? ‘I am surrounded by all this sausage’

I got home at 8:30, talked to my housemate  for a little bit while I boiled water for my dinner of noodles. I got impatient waiting for the noodles to cook so I took them out a tad early. They tasted quite … uncooked. So yes, I can’t even boil noodles properly. I then ate this dinner while watching Pretty Little Liars. Something must have happened in the middle of the first season because now I think it’s actually crossed the line from hilarious shitty to surprisingly decent and compelling.

It is now 10:30. I attempted to nap for half an hour but to no avail. Instead, I will eat a Mexican Wedding Cookie, turn on my laptop, and proceed to attempt to finish something that I think will end up taking me 4 hrs to complete.

My head hurts already because I slept at 3am last night (finished work at 2am).

Tomorrow I know we will be leaving at midnight. I will be getting to work at 9am.

Exciting blog posts ahead guys!

Reminder to quit #1

Oh, busy season. I forgot about you. It’s that time when:

– I wake up in the morning and debate whether to wear pants because I’m too tired to put lotion on my legs

– My car is the last of about five cars in a large parking lot

– The lights in the office keep going off and I have to stand up and wave my hands to let it know it know someone is still working

– I get home and watch an episode of something and it’s already midnight when it finishes

– And then I turn on my work laptop and do more work

– I feel great in the morning because I’m thinner, not because I exercised but because I was too stressed to eat real meals the day before

– I go on facebook and realize I’ve completely forgotten about an event someone’s invited me to a week ago

– And now I can’t go because I have to work on the weekend

I’m lying in bed in my bra and underwear because I went to the closet and gave up on finding something to wear. My brain is so tired. It’s 8:46. I’m about to be late! And miss celebrity scoop on the radio. The latter is far more important to me.

I LOVE this song. Morning Parade – Us and Ourselves (Kamuki Bring Back the 80s Remix)

Training Week

Listening to: Gareth Emery ft. Lucy Saunders – Sanctuary

manager 1: if you wake up and you’re sick, you really need to evaluate 1) should i be going to work and 2) can i even drive?

manager 2: “can i drive?” is not the question you should be asking. you should be asking yourself, “am i contagious?” audit rooms are small, and i do not want to be sitting next to you if you are contagious.

Damn my shitty memory! I had one of the most hilarious workweeks ever and I’m lying in bed right now racking my brain for other quotes, but I can’t remember any of them! At least 90% of them were from Lindsay who I sat next to every day of training except today when she was out sick. Basically, us two whispering snarky comments to one another kept me from falling asleep. BOO! Also, there are quite a few that I don’t think I could post here, in the fear that someone might find my blog and I will get fired.

Anyway, first week of the year is always training week, which I love because it’s a good buffer before busy season. Numbs your brain. I tried to pay attention and surprisingly succeeded, for the most part, in not nodding off. Unfortunately, the main trainings in which I did nod off were taught by partners. Oops. I remember last year when I had training, I would just zone out and think about life or day dream. This year, I could never concentrate hard enough to day dream though. It somewhat dawned on me that maybe after a year of work I just no longer have the capacity to fantasize and no longer have anything to think about besides work, which is why I ended up just paying attention.

This was the fattest week ever. I swear … diet starts NOW. I got much fatter after Peru because when I was traveling, I just ate whenever we could and worked it all off without even trying. When I returned, I maintained my “I’ll eat whatever I want!” attitude but resumed my “sit in a chair all day” American lifestyle. Since I don’t eat when stressed, I’ve just always assumed I’ll return to my ideal weight by the end of busy season. I just always hate when I remember a time when I was much thinner, because it makes life feel so hopeless. Try hard to get thin. Get fat without trying. And the cycle goes round and round…

Even sadder is that I can’t even rock climb! I went to the gym yesterday and put on my shoes and tried a V0. I went three holds, and about a foot in the air, before I came down because I could already feel my ankle about to resprain itself and going “NO NO NO SOMETHING BAD IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN.” At least I caught myself.

Oh yeah. Training. Every day was in SF and I switched off driving between me and other coworkers. So this is what I had for dinner:

Tuesday: Dosas’s Indian food on Fillmore. It came very highly rated but I realized that I do not like South Indian food. Luckily, I don’t think there are many South Indian restaurants. Our bill for 4 people came out to be $155. So basically, day 3 of the new year, and my hope to save money was down the toilet

Wednesday: Little Star in Albany and Ici’s. Somehow none of my ice cream was pushed to the bottom so I just ate the top part and felt so full that I left the rest of the cone on my car’s cupholder. (It was the next day’s breakfast). Then I went home and my housemates had a crab boil which was amazing. They informed me that a  crab boil is crab, tossed into a pot added with ANYTHING you want. I don’t remember everything, but I know there was corn, potatoes, rosemary, alcohol, soy sauce … it all combined into an insanely delicious flavor I’ve never tasted before. My housemate Caryn also made honey toast which was delish. They also decided that we’d take a shot for every holiday that we hadn’t celebrated together: Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years … so I ended up taking 4 shots on a Wednesday night. Surprisingly, it had almost no effect on me (smirnoff + blueberry lemonade fizzy drink = MAJOR YUM!). Loving my housemates!

Chris: I’m telling you, all the homeless people have to pay a certain percentage of what they get to gangs, otherwise they get beat up. All the homeless people are ruled by a bum king
Caryn: Wait. So, on my way to work, there is a woman. She’s got like … no teeth, crazy hair, a missing leg
Jessica: OMG I see her all the time! Yeah, she’s always on that street during rush hour in SF
Caryn: You’re telling me that woman has a boss?
Chris: YES! She probably has to give like 50% of her earnings to the bum king! He probably assigned her that street because he knew she’d make the most money

They told me that they intended to turn me into a big drinker, because they used to drink all the time during the week when they were younger. Apparently, one weekday, when we’re all home (which is rare) we are all going to get up and go out to drink at like 2am in the morning.

Thursday: Hog Island Oyster House for oyster happy hour. I only got six for myself … next time I am going to get 15. But I was actually crazy full by the time we left because we also had grilled cheese (amazing) and baked oysters. I really want to buy a random ticket to New Orleans the next time SW has a sale, and just go for the weekend and eat Felix’s bienville oysters and Mama’s bread pudding and then fly back by Monday morning. Maybe I will… anyone want to join?

I LOVE the idea of oyster happy hour. 1) Oysters are the only shellfish I like. Very odd, I have no idea how that came to be. 2) Happy hour! This restaurant is in the Ferry Building, so I was surrounded by lots of young professional looking people. I just feel proud of myself whenever I go out to happy hour. Working AND having a life!

Friday: House of Curries on College and Ici’s (again). After Dosa’s I wanted to eat “regular” Indian food again, so here we were. EARL GREY at Ici’s – yum! Although, right now my stomach feels sooooo full. I’m at the stage where I legitimately think I could potentially fast for a week and be ok.

I realized that trainings are just … so useless. One of three thought processes will occur:

1) “oh I know this already … yup … all this sounds familiar! Awesome! Time to zone out”
2) “Um … this wasn’t how we did it on that one client … uh … oh well I’m sure it’s fine. This doesn’t seem to apply to me, time to zone out”
3) “I don’t understand what they are talking about at all because I’ve never done this / this is beyond my level … time to zone out.”


Friend 1: So I ran into Tim yesterday and he asked, “how do you like the trainings?” and I said “well, I’m learning how to sleep with my eyes open” and then I realized that might not be the kind of thing you should say to a partner so then I said “oh, yeah I’m learning a lot”

Trainings started at 9am on Tuesday, 8:30 on Wednesday, then freaking 8am on  Thursday and Friday. Since we were going to SF, I ended up waking up at 6am, just to be able to leave the house by 6:30. For some reason, I kept sleeping past 1am. Not healthy for my brain, I’m sure. Basically every morning, I would wake up to darkness and walk out of my house just when light was coming out.

Friend 2: I can’t wait to sleep in this weekend. I’m going to wake up at noon
Me: I think I’ll probably end up waking up at 7am and thinking to myself “OMG I got so much sleep!”
Friend 2: Yeah, ‘wow I can see pink in the sky!’

This is my last weekend before busy season begins so I really want to make the most of it. Part of me is kind of excited though. During busy season, I’m so tired and stressed from work and solely thinking about my long to do list, that I don’t have time for silly thoughts like “What am I doing with my life” and “Am I happy?” or “What should I do with my free time?”